16 Mar Getting “Unstuck”
At times we find ourselves getting in our own way. We find that it’s not clear how to go about making the positive changes we really need in order to be happy. Sometimes we beat ourselves up for having done nothing or too little about it, and then, for lack of an alternative direction, we continue in the same routine.
Sound familiar? If so, take a look that the following tips on how to move forward and create the life you really want. Practice using these tips, and you’ll see things turn around. You deserve this! Give it a try:
- Commit to yourself just as you would commit to helping a friend who needs you. You’ll find that your own positive process will have a ripple effect on everything in your life.
- Be honest enough to say, “This isn’t working for me”. Define clearly what it is that you’re unhappy with. Think about how it conflicts with your personal values. Work it out on paper.
- Re-connect with yourself. Do some fair and honest self-assessment and soul-searching. What are your strengths? Focus on them. What are your weaknesses? Be aware of them, forgive them and put them in the “things to be aware of” category.
- Block out negativity or criticism that’s not constructive. Tune in to your “self-talk.” (You know what I mean, those negative beat-you-up tapes that run in your head). Write down the negative points and then give yourself twenty-four hours for a rebuttal. Think about these points as though someone had written them about your best friend. Now defend them! As for external negative influences, take stock of the contributors and resolve to allow them less-to-no- time in your new life.
- Invest in yourself. Are you taking the time you need to work on your new life direction? Are you making time to exercise or meditate? Could you benefit from working with a coach or by taking a class? What is your self-care routine? Define and commit to things that will fortify you.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. As long as you’re learning,, you’re moving forward. Remember this.
- Pay attention to your wardrobe. Projecting a positive image makes a difference in how you’re treated and how you feel about yourself. Even if you don’t feel like it, dress “up one notch”, every day.
- Take ten minutes every morning to set your intention for the day. This will drive you toward your goals in easy to manage steps. You’ll be surprised at how quickly the results accumulate.
- Find a mentor, someone whose goal is your success. This person should energize and motivate you. This can be a very powerful step. When you ask for help, you’re giving yourself the gift of an honest “second set of eyes” that can help you identify your “blind spots”- and believe me, we all have them!
- Write your goals down on paper. Focus on the things you want. Some people are so unclear on what they want they have to start with the things they don’t want. That’s okay! But move to the positive as quickly as possible. Resolve to be a goal-setting individual, moving every day toward the things that are important to you!
There’s a start. Research tells us that it takes twenty-one days to make an action a habit. Stick with these actions and you’ll find yourself in the driver’s seat of your own life. No greatness happens overnight, but remember: your own thoughts, attitudes and actions accumulate to create results. Make them positive!
Linda Waters is a business/career coach and the Principal of Back to Business, a company focused on helping people achieve successful career transitions and women who want to return to the workforce. She lives in Franklin with her husband and two children.